"I want a baby brother"
"Mommy I want a baby brother," Cara said to me last night.
We were sitting around the table eating dinner, or trying to at least. Instead of eating, the girls were distract me with every topic of conversation possible. Well, Cara was. Adia was just making silly noises and faces to make me laugh. Eventually, they brought up the usual, "Mommy, why aren't you and Daddy married anymore?"
"But, I want you to be together," Adia protested. "You don't have to fight."
It's a reoccuring discussion we have about once a week. It is not even that they like us in the same room together. Sunday, when Drew dropped the kids off, they practically herded him out the door. And, they actually really like my boyfriend. They think he's great and talk about him all the time (which I'm sure their Dad loves). There are no tears about it anymore, but now that they can carry on a conversation, they want to know about everything. As much as they have adjusted to going back and forth every week, they understandably would prefer if they could have both of their parents under one roof at the same time. In addition to that, they are also entering the "Why" stage.
I will say that last night, I think I came up with one of my best illustrative explanations yet. I asked them to think about the puzzles that they play with, and how sometimes, some of the pieces fit together and others don't. I told them that their Dad and I were like 2 puzzle pieces that you tried to put together, but they didn't fit. Then they asked me who I was going to marry next, when I was getting married again. I tried to impress upon them the importance of being careful, being sure about who you plan to marry. Not rushing and making a mistake, like I did before. Although, I made sure they knew they were not a mistake. That no matter what happened, even if me and Daddy didn't love each other anymore, we would always love them. That seemed to be enough for them, for the time being.
Cara smiled and said, "Well, when I'm 5, you can get married to somebody else and have a baby brother for me."
Adia chimed in, "And one for me too!"
When she is 5, Cara is going to be able to do everything. When she is 5, she is going to be an artist. When she turns 5, She is going to marry Cole (her "boyfriend"). After all, 5 years old is all grown up. Thankfully, after that, she dropped the baby brother bit. Then, it was back to complaining about how she didn't want to eat the food on her plate...
We were sitting around the table eating dinner, or trying to at least. Instead of eating, the girls were distract me with every topic of conversation possible. Well, Cara was. Adia was just making silly noises and faces to make me laugh. Eventually, they brought up the usual, "Mommy, why aren't you and Daddy married anymore?"
"But, I want you to be together," Adia protested. "You don't have to fight."
It's a reoccuring discussion we have about once a week. It is not even that they like us in the same room together. Sunday, when Drew dropped the kids off, they practically herded him out the door. And, they actually really like my boyfriend. They think he's great and talk about him all the time (which I'm sure their Dad loves). There are no tears about it anymore, but now that they can carry on a conversation, they want to know about everything. As much as they have adjusted to going back and forth every week, they understandably would prefer if they could have both of their parents under one roof at the same time. In addition to that, they are also entering the "Why" stage.
I will say that last night, I think I came up with one of my best illustrative explanations yet. I asked them to think about the puzzles that they play with, and how sometimes, some of the pieces fit together and others don't. I told them that their Dad and I were like 2 puzzle pieces that you tried to put together, but they didn't fit. Then they asked me who I was going to marry next, when I was getting married again. I tried to impress upon them the importance of being careful, being sure about who you plan to marry. Not rushing and making a mistake, like I did before. Although, I made sure they knew they were not a mistake. That no matter what happened, even if me and Daddy didn't love each other anymore, we would always love them. That seemed to be enough for them, for the time being.
Cara smiled and said, "Well, when I'm 5, you can get married to somebody else and have a baby brother for me."
Adia chimed in, "And one for me too!"
When she is 5, Cara is going to be able to do everything. When she is 5, she is going to be an artist. When she turns 5, She is going to marry Cole (her "boyfriend"). After all, 5 years old is all grown up. Thankfully, after that, she dropped the baby brother bit. Then, it was back to complaining about how she didn't want to eat the food on her plate...
posted by Joy | 4:05 PM
1 Comments:
oh yes, the why debacle. next comes "why do some girls marry boys and some boys marry other boys?" that one is fun, especially around the grandparents. unless they're cool grandparents, and in that case, it makes raising open minded children a lot easier, i'm sure. i love the way you write, joy. i just love your honesty. xo-sb
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